Jeremiah Wright Joins With Clinton Pal Tyson, Gets Own Brand of Chicken

April 29, 2008

CHICAGO (LNS) — Controversial pastor Rev. Jeremiah Wright has just admitted that the rumors are true, and that he is now in cahoots with the Clinton campaign.

In a statement released this afternoon, Wright admitted that he grew tired of the fawning over Barack Obama “as if he was some sort of some sort of new savior! I only have one black savior, and that is Jeeezus!”

The final breaking point came when in a private meeting, the Obama campaign refused to allow for any sort of cabinet position for Wright. “He said I could not be his right hand or his left hand man, so I decided that if he wanted to be treated like a messiah, I would oblige him by betraying him for thirty pieces of silver.”

The current value of thirty 90% Pre-1965 $1000.00 US silver coins is around $360,000.00. But as a sweetener to the deal cut with longtime Clinton supporter Don Tyson of Tyson Foods, Wright will be paid to endorse his own brand of poultry.

Sometime before the November election, check the meat section of your local supermarket. There you will find “Rev. Wright’s America’s Chickens!” Future TV and radio advertisements will feature Wright in his signature booming voice declaring, “AMERICA’S CHICKENS!….Bring ‘em home…to ROAST!”